| Have you ever noticed that when you take on a | | | | Inner Critic: Everyone has an inner critic and can hear |
| new goal, that little voice in your head will | | | | it. It's been estimated that humans self-talk about |
| immediately kick in and start telling you all the | | | | 45,000-50,000 thoughts every single day. I'm proud |
| reasons why you can't have what you want? | | | | to say that a lot of that self-talk is from me! In fact, |
| Whether it's finding a new course to take, losing | | | | I'm talking most of the time. The vast majority of |
| those last 10 pounds, improving the quality of your | | | | people don't even stop to question what I'm telling |
| relationship or getting out of debt, the Inner Critic | | | | them and so they let me stop them from what they |
| that lives within each of us really seems to turn up | | | | really want. Those who stay in action simply choose |
| the volume. | | | | to not take everything I say as the absolute |
| To shed some light on this universal phenomenon, | | | | irrefutable truth. They hear what I have to say, |
| I've been able to interview my Inner Critic. I hope | | | | weigh it against what would be achieved by reaching |
| this conversation will shed some light on how you can | | | | their goal. They just move forward despite the fear |
| create a better working partnership with your Inner | | | | or self-doubt that I help to cultivate. Oops, I should |
| Critic. | | | | not have let that secret out! |
| Carolyn Ellis (CE): It seems like I've always heard your | | | | CE: So what you're saying is that we all have a |
| voice in one form or another. When exactly did you | | | | choice as to whether we'll be able to listen to you or |
| become a part of my life? | | | | not? |
| Inner Critic: I've been a part of you since the time | | | | Inner Critic: Actually, you don't have much choice as |
| you were born. When you were really young, you | | | | to whether you'll listen. The key point is whether you |
| were so fearless! Young children are like that. So my | | | | let what you hear me say stop you or not. |
| initial function was to put some kind of a check on | | | | CE: What are some of the key ways that you and I |
| you so you wouldn't be too reckless and possibly | | | | can co-exist together more peacefully then? If we're |
| hurt yourself. | | | | stuck with each other, how can I learn to not get |
| CE: Well, that's interesting. So you mean that you | | | | side-tracked by you? |
| started off being concerned about my safety? | | | | Inner Critic: To tell you the truth, I actually would like |
| Inner Critic: Yes -- absolutely! You may find it hard to | | | | to have a better relationship with you. Sometimes I |
| believe, but I think my biggest responsibility is to look | | | | feel your wrath and it's like you want to kill me off. |
| out for you and keep you safe from harm. | | | | So I end up yelling at you even louder. This gets |
| CE: I think I'm old enough now to know when I'm in | | | | tiring even for me! Here's what I would suggest: |
| physical danger. Why are you still here then -- simply | | | | 1. Just listen to me -- trying to ignore me doesn't |
| to torment me? | | | | really work. Becoming aware of what I'm saying |
| Inner Critic: I'm not trying to torment you -- I'm just | | | | actually calms me down. |
| doing my job the best way I know how. Actually, | | | | 2. Know that everyone has an Inner Critic that |
| I've given myself a job promotion, so to speak. I've | | | | speaks negatively you to you, so you can choose to |
| expanded the range of things I'll comment on to any | | | | not take everything so personally. |
| potential danger I see on the horizon. So that includes | | | | 3. Consider what I have to say and then make your |
| any perceived emotional or social damage too. I like | | | | own decision. Let what I have to tell you be just one |
| to offer a comprehensive range of services. | | | | factor in making a commitment to moving forward |
| CE: What are some of your favorite critical dialogues? | | | | towards your goals. I don't like getting blamed all the |
| Inner Critic: I find the "who do you think you are" or | | | | time for why people don't get what they want in |
| "what will other people think of you?" or "You can't | | | | their life! |
| do it, you'll just fail" to be among my most effective | | | | 4. If you notice I'm getting particularly loud or |
| comments. This is true of my fellow Inner Critics | | | | persistent, it could simply be that you're overlooking |
| who live in other people, although everyone has their | | | | something important. Pause and take a look to see |
| own unique Inner Critic retort that can stop a person | | | | what that is. |
| in their tracks. The main purpose of my dialogue is to | | | | CE: Thank you so much -- it's actually been a relief |
| stop you from taking on a new action or behavior | | | | getting to know you better! |
| and make you pause. | | | | Inner Critic: Same here! Thank you for being curious |
| CE: Why is it some people seem to be paralyzed by | | | | instead of condemning of me. |
| their Inner Critic and others aren't? | | | | I appreciate it! |