| Have you ever noticed that when you take on a | | | | aren't? |
| new goal, that little voice in your head will | | | | |
| immediately kick in and start telling you all | | | | Inner Critic: Everyone has an inner critic |
| the reasons why you can't have what you want? | | | | and can hear it. It's been estimated that |
| Whether it's finding a new course to take, | | | | humans self-talk about 45,000-50,000 thoughts |
| losing those last 10 pounds, improving the | | | | every single day. I'm proud to say that a lot |
| quality of your relationship or getting out | | | | of that self-talk is from me! In fact, I'm |
| of debt, the Inner Critic that lives within | | | | talking most of the time. The vast majority |
| each of us really seems to turn up the | | | | of people don't even stop to question what |
| volume. | | | | I'm telling them and so they let me stop them |
| | | | from what they really want. Those who stay in |
| To shed some light on this universal | | | | action simply choose to not take everything I |
| phenomenon, I've been able to interview my | | | | say as the absolute irrefutable truth. They |
| Inner Critic. I hope this conversation will | | | | hear what I have to say, weigh it against |
| shed some light on how you can create a | | | | what would be achieved by reaching their |
| better working partnership with your Inner | | | | goal. They just move forward despite the fear |
| Critic. | | | | or self-doubt that I help to cultivate. Oops, |
| | | | I should not have let that secret out! |
| Carolyn Ellis (CE): It seems like I've always | | | | |
| heard your voice in one form or another. When | | | | CE: So what you're saying is that we all have |
| exactly did you become a part of my life? | | | | a choice as to whether we'll be able to |
| | | | listen to you or not? |
| Inner Critic: I've been a part of you since | | | | |
| the time you were born. When you were really | | | | Inner Critic: Actually, you don't have much |
| young, you were so fearless! Young children | | | | choice as to whether you'll listen. The key |
| are like that. So my initial function was to | | | | point is whether you let what you hear me say |
| put some kind of a check on you so you | | | | stop you or not. |
| wouldn't be too reckless and possibly hurt | | | | |
| yourself. | | | | CE: What are some of the key ways that you |
| | | | and I can co-exist together more peacefully |
| CE: Well, that's interesting. So you mean | | | | then? If we're stuck with each other, how can |
| that you started off being concerned about my | | | | I learn to not get side-tracked by you? |
| safety? | | | | |
| | | | Inner Critic: To tell you the truth, I |
| Inner Critic: Yes -- absolutely! You may find | | | | actually would like to have a better |
| it hard to believe, but I think my biggest | | | | relationship with you. Sometimes I feel your |
| responsibility is to look out for you and | | | | wrath and it's like you want to kill me off. |
| keep you safe from harm. | | | | So I end up yelling at you even louder. This |
| | | | gets tiring even for me! Here's what I would |
| CE: I think I'm old enough now to know when | | | | suggest: |
| I'm in physical danger. Why are you still | | | | |
| here then -- simply to torment me? | | | | 1. Just listen to me -- trying to ignore me |
| | | | doesn't really work. Becoming aware of what |
| Inner Critic: I'm not trying to torment you | | | | I'm saying actually calms me down. |
| -- I'm just doing my job the best way I know | | | | |
| how. Actually, I've given myself a job | | | | 2. Know that everyone has an Inner Critic |
| promotion, so to speak. I've expanded the | | | | that speaks negatively you to you, so you can |
| range of things I'll comment on to any | | | | choose to not take everything so personally. |
| potential danger I see on the horizon. So | | | | |
| that includes any perceived emotional or | | | | 3. Consider what I have to say and then make |
| social damage too. I like to offer a | | | | your own decision. Let what I have to tell |
| comprehensive range of services. | | | | you be just one factor in making a commitment |
| | | | to moving forward towards your goals. I don't |
| CE: What are some of your favorite critical | | | | like getting blamed all the time for why |
| dialogues? | | | | people don't get what they want in their |
| | | | life! |
| Inner Critic: I find the "who do you think | | | | |
| you are" or "what will other people think of | | | | 4. If you notice I'm getting particularly |
| you?" or "You can't do it, you'll just fail" | | | | loud or persistent, it could simply be that |
| to be among my most effective comments. This | | | | you're overlooking something important. Pause |
| is true of my fellow Inner Critics who live | | | | and take a look to see what that is. |
| in other people, although everyone has their | | | | |
| own unique Inner Critic retort that can stop | | | | CE: Thank you so much -- it's actually been a |
| a person in their tracks. The main purpose of | | | | relief getting to know you better! |
| my dialogue is to stop you from taking on a | | | | |
| new action or behavior and make you pause. | | | | Inner Critic: Same here! Thank you for being |
| | | | curious instead of condemning of me. |
| CE: Why is it some people seem to be | | | | |
| paralyzed by their Inner Critic and others | | | | I appreciate it! |