| Have you ever noticed that when you take | | | | Inner Critic: Everyone has an inner |
| on a new goal, that little voice in your | | | | critic and can hear it. It's been |
| head will immediately kick in and start | | | | estimated that humans self-talk about |
| telling you all the reasons why you | | | | 45,000-50,000 thoughts every single day. |
| can't have what you want? Whether it's | | | | I'm proud to say that a lot of that |
| finding a new course to take, losing | | | | self-talk is from me! In fact, I'm |
| those last 10 pounds, improving the | | | | talking most of the time. The vast |
| quality of your relationship or getting | | | | majority of people don't even stop to |
| out of debt, the Inner Critic that lives | | | | question what I'm telling them and so |
| within each of us really seems to turn | | | | they let me stop them from what they |
| up the volume. | | | | really want. Those who stay in action |
| To shed some light on this universal | | | | simply choose to not take everything I |
| phenomenon, I've been able to interview | | | | say as the absolute irrefutable truth. |
| my Inner Critic. I hope this | | | | They hear what I have to say, weigh it |
| conversation will shed some light on how | | | | against what would be achieved by |
| you can create a better working | | | | reaching their goal. They just move |
| partnership with your Inner Critic. | | | | forward despite the fear or self-doubt |
| Carolyn Ellis (CE): It seems like I've | | | | that I help to cultivate. Oops, I should |
| always heard your voice in one form or | | | | not have let that secret out! |
| another. When exactly did you become a | | | | CE: So what you're saying is that we all |
| part of my life? | | | | have a choice as to whether we'll be |
| Inner Critic: I've been a part of you | | | | able to listen to you or not? |
| since the time you were born. When you | | | | Inner Critic: Actually, you don't have |
| were really young, you were so fearless! | | | | much choice as to whether you'll listen. |
| Young children are like that. So my | | | | The key point is whether you let what |
| initial function was to put some kind of | | | | you hear me say stop you or not. |
| a check on you so you wouldn't be too | | | | CE: What are some of the key ways that |
| reckless and possibly hurt yourself. | | | | you and I can co-exist together more |
| CE: Well, that's interesting. So you | | | | peacefully then? If we're stuck with |
| mean that you started off being | | | | each other, how can I learn to not get |
| concerned about my safety? | | | | side-tracked by you? |
| Inner Critic: Yes -- absolutely! You may | | | | Inner Critic: To tell you the truth, I |
| find it hard to believe, but I think my | | | | actually would like to have a better |
| biggest responsibility is to look out | | | | relationship with you. Sometimes I feel |
| for you and keep you safe from harm. | | | | your wrath and it's like you want to |
| CE: I think I'm old enough now to know | | | | kill me off. So I end up yelling at you |
| when I'm in physical danger. Why are you | | | | even louder. This gets tiring even for |
| still here then -- simply to torment me? | | | | me! Here's what I would suggest: |
| Inner Critic: I'm not trying to torment | | | | 1. Just listen to me -- trying to |
| you -- I'm just doing my job the best | | | | ignore me doesn't really work. Becoming |
| way I know how. Actually, I've given | | | | aware of what I'm saying actually calms |
| myself a job promotion, so to speak. | | | | me down. |
| I've expanded the range of things I'll | | | | 2. Know that everyone has an Inner |
| comment on to any potential danger I see | | | | Critic that speaks negatively you to |
| on the horizon. So that includes any | | | | you, so you can choose to not take |
| perceived emotional or social damage | | | | everything so personally. |
| too. I like to offer a comprehensive | | | | 3. Consider what I have to say and then |
| range of services. | | | | make your own decision. Let what I have |
| CE: What are some of your favorite | | | | to tell you be just one factor in making |
| critical dialogues? | | | | a commitment to moving forward towards |
| Inner Critic: I find the "who do you | | | | your goals. I don't like getting blamed |
| think you are" or "what will other | | | | all the time for why people don't get |
| people think of you?" or "You can't do | | | | what they want in their life! |
| it, you'll just fail" to be among my | | | | 4. If you notice I'm getting |
| most effective comments. This is true of | | | | particularly loud or persistent, it |
| my fellow Inner Critics who live in | | | | could simply be that you're overlooking |
| other people, although everyone has | | | | something important. Pause and take a |
| their own unique Inner Critic retort | | | | look to see what that is. |
| that can stop a person in their tracks. | | | | CE: Thank you so much -- it's actually |
| The main purpose of my dialogue is to | | | | been a relief getting to know you |
| stop you from taking on a new action or | | | | better! |
| behavior and make you pause. | | | | Inner Critic: Same here! Thank you for |
| CE: Why is it some people seem to be | | | | being curious instead of condemning of |
| paralyzed by their Inner Critic and | | | | me. |
| others aren't? | | | | I appreciate it! |