| It might not find you a house, but might help you | | | | class, prestigious |
| deal with the stress of house hunting. For buyers, | | | | - The word "only" = 4 sips |
| sellers and realtors alike! | | | | - The word "family" = 3 sips |
| You'll need: | | | | THE HOUSE: |
| - a bottle or two of your preferred liquor | | | | You'll need: |
| - cup for each person | | | | - several bottles of your preferred liquor |
| - real estate publication | | | | - large cup for each person |
| - Any of the following = 1 sip eachadorable, airy, | | | | - designated driver |
| alluring, ample, attractive, beautiful, becoming, best, | | | | - If "charming, comfortable, cozy, homey, intimate, |
| bewitching, big, blissful, bright, capacious, captivating, | | | | snug" or any of their synonyms or derivatives mean |
| charming, cheerful, consummate, cozy, dazzling, | | | | that you would have a hard time housing a toy |
| delightful, desirable, distinctive, enchanting, endearing, | | | | poodle in the building = 1 gulp |
| engaging, enticing, enveloped (by trees, excellent, | | | | - If "luxury" means that the property is assessed the |
| exquisite, extraordinary, fabulous, fantastic, fetching, | | | | highest tax in the county = 2 gulps |
| fine, first-rate, foremost, gardens, glorious, gracious, | | | | - If "needs TLC, handyman's special, fixer-upper, |
| grand, great, handsome, haven, ideal, immaculate, | | | | needs a little work" means that the walls are in |
| impeccable, impeccable, inspiring, irresistible, lovely, | | | | danger of imminent buckling, the roof is ready to slide |
| magnificent, nature), original, out-of-the-ordinary, | | | | off into the neighbors' yard, the toilets flush into the |
| out-of-the-way, palatial, peaceful, peerless, perfect, | | | | basement, or the foundation is slowly sidling away |
| picturesque, placid, pleasant, preeminent, prime, | | | | from the building = 3 gulps |
| private, quaint, quiet, rare, retreat, roomy, serene, | | | | - If "motivated seller" means that someone has been |
| serene, solitary, spacious, splendid, sublime, superb, | | | | murdered in the living room, the property is reputed |
| superior, surprising, sweet, timeless, tranquil, ultimate, | | | | to be haunted, or the house has been a notorious |
| unique, unperturbed, utopia, vintage, whimsical, | | | | grow-op = 4 gulps |
| winning, wonderful, world-class | | | | - If the word "view" means that you have to stand |
| - any of the above attached to "price" = 2 additional | | | | on the chimney to see whatever it is that they claim |
| sips | | | | is visible to the naked eye = 2 gulps |
| - 3 or more consecutive adjectives (an exquisitely | | | | - If "family-friendly" means that the neighborhood is |
| charming haven) = gulp | | | | full of screaming kids, barking dogs and graffiti on |
| - Needs TLC = 2 sips | | | | every exposed wall = 3 gulps |
| - handyman's special = 1 sip | | | | - If "unique neighborhood" means that you have to |
| - fixer-upper = 1 sip | | | | step over a body (living or dead) to access the |
| - needs a little work = 2 sips | | | | house = 4 gulps |
| - "perfect for first-time home buyers" = 2 sips | | | | - If "original" means that the plumbing has not been |
| - starter home = 1 sip | | | | altered from its turn-of-the-century installation = 2 |
| - must see = 1 sip | | | | gulps |
| - must see to believe = 3 sips | | | | - If "bright" means that the house (inside or outside) |
| - hurry = 1 sip | | | | has been painted glaring colors that claw their way |
| - hurry, this won't last = 3 sips | | | | through your retinas and hit the back of your skull = |
| - don't miss this = 1 sip | | | | 1 gulp |
| - priced to sell = 2 sips | | | | - If "foreclosure sale" means that the house has been |
| - motivated seller = 1 sip | | | | stripped of anything remotely valuable = 3 gulps |
| - won't last = 3 sips | | | | - If there's something not listed here that makes |
| - sale of the second/minute/day/week/month/year | | | | nerves start jumping in your forehead = divide up |
| decade/century/all time = 4 sips | | | | the rest of the alcohol (if there is any) and chug 'er |
| - "potential" = 3 sips | | | | down. |
| - Any of the following = 4 sips each (since you can | | | | Happy Home Hunting! |
| afford it)affluent, chic, commanding, elite, exclusive, | | | | For local, personal attention to your Las Vegas |
| executive, lavish, luxury, opulent, refined, select, | | | | homes search, visit eHome Realty, your professional |
| sophisticated, successful, sumptuous, up-scale, upper | | | | Las Vegas real estate agents. |