| It might not find you a house, but might help | | | | elite, exclusive, executive, lavish, luxury, |
| you deal with the stress of house hunting. | | | | opulent, refined, select, sophisticated, |
| For buyers, sellers and realtors alike! | | | | successful, sumptuous, up-scale, upper class, |
| | | | prestigious |
| You'll need: | | | | |
| | | | - The word "only" = 4 sips |
| - a bottle or two of your preferred liquor | | | | |
| | | | - The word "family" = 3 sips |
| - cup for each person | | | | |
| | | | THE HOUSE: |
| - real estate publication | | | | |
| | | | You'll need: |
| - Any of the following = 1 sip eachadorable, | | | | |
| airy, alluring, ample, attractive, beautiful, | | | | - several bottles of your preferred liquor |
| becoming, best, bewitching, big, blissful, | | | | |
| bright, capacious, captivating, charming, | | | | - large cup for each person |
| cheerful, consummate, cozy, dazzling, | | | | |
| delightful, desirable, distinctive, | | | | - designated driver |
| enchanting, endearing, engaging, enticing, | | | | |
| enveloped (by trees, excellent, exquisite, | | | | - If "charming, comfortable, cozy, homey, |
| extraordinary, fabulous, fantastic, fetching, | | | | intimate, snug" or any of their synonyms or |
| fine, first-rate, foremost, gardens, | | | | derivatives mean that you would have a hard |
| glorious, gracious, grand, great, handsome, | | | | time housing a toy poodle in the building = 1 |
| haven, ideal, immaculate, impeccable, | | | | gulp |
| impeccable, inspiring, irresistible, lovely, | | | | |
| magnificent, nature), original, | | | | - If "luxury" means that the property is |
| out-of-the-ordinary, out-of-the-way, | | | | assessed the highest tax in the county = 2 |
| palatial, peaceful, peerless, perfect, | | | | gulps |
| picturesque, placid, pleasant, preeminent, | | | | |
| prime, private, quaint, quiet, rare, retreat, | | | | - If "needs TLC, handyman's special, |
| roomy, serene, serene, solitary, spacious, | | | | fixer-upper, needs a little work" means that |
| splendid, sublime, superb, superior, | | | | the walls are in danger of imminent buckling, |
| surprising, sweet, timeless, tranquil, | | | | the roof is ready to slide off into the |
| ultimate, unique, unperturbed, utopia, | | | | neighbors' yard, the toilets flush into the |
| vintage, whimsical, winning, wonderful, | | | | basement, or the foundation is slowly sidling |
| world-class | | | | away from the building = 3 gulps |
| | | | |
| - any of the above attached to "price" = 2 | | | | - If "motivated seller" means that someone |
| additional sips | | | | has been murdered in the living room, the |
| | | | property is reputed to be haunted, or the |
| - 3 or more consecutive adjectives (an | | | | house has been a notorious grow-op = 4 gulps |
| exquisitely charming haven) = gulp | | | | |
| | | | - If the word "view" means that you have to |
| - Needs TLC = 2 sips | | | | stand on the chimney to see whatever it is |
| | | | that they claim is visible to the naked eye = |
| - handyman's special = 1 sip | | | | 2 gulps |
| | | | |
| - fixer-upper = 1 sip | | | | - If "family-friendly" means that the |
| | | | neighborhood is full of screaming kids, |
| - needs a little work = 2 sips | | | | barking dogs and graffiti on every exposed |
| | | | wall = 3 gulps |
| - "perfect for first-time home buyers" = 2 | | | | |
| sips | | | | - If "unique neighborhood" means that you |
| | | | have to step over a body (living or dead) to |
| - starter home = 1 sip | | | | access the house = 4 gulps |
| | | | |
| - must see = 1 sip | | | | - If "original" means that the plumbing has |
| | | | not been altered from its turn-of-the-century |
| - must see to believe = 3 sips | | | | installation = 2 gulps |
| | | | |
| - hurry = 1 sip | | | | - If "bright" means that the house (inside or |
| | | | outside) has been painted glaring colors that |
| - hurry, this won't last = 3 sips | | | | claw their way through your retinas and hit |
| | | | the back of your skull = 1 gulp |
| - don't miss this = 1 sip | | | | |
| | | | - If "foreclosure sale" means that the house |
| - priced to sell = 2 sips | | | | has been stripped of anything remotely |
| | | | valuable = 3 gulps |
| - motivated seller = 1 sip | | | | |
| | | | - If there's something not listed here that |
| - won't last = 3 sips | | | | makes nerves start jumping in your forehead = |
| | | | divide up the rest of the alcohol (if there |
| - sale of the second/minute/day/week/month | | | | is any) and chug 'er down. |
| year/decade/century/all time = 4 sips | | | | |
| | | | Happy Home Hunting! |
| - "potential" = 3 sips | | | | |
| | | | For local, personal attention to your Las |
| - Any of the following = 4 sips each (since | | | | Vegas homes search, visit eHome Realty, your |
| you can afford it)affluent, chic, commanding, | | | | professional Las Vegas real estate agents. |